Stay here with me

I haven’t got the urge to write anything recently, it’s not that I was depleted of idea but I just don’t feel like writing anything. Sometimes, I think there is this invisible balance in me; either I’m a writer or am I a forced-to-be-hardcore-work-overtime technical consultant. Consultant is a nice name, but generically consultant does programming, back to the root, IT field I am in. I seem to find myself standing on a wall, wall that separates two sides from me. I will be either at one side or the other side of the wall. However strictly speaking, I could be standing on a pivot point, where the walls extend out in many direction, separate the space into many portions, just imagine a pizza. To have fallen into which side of the wall enclosed space, I have least authority in the decision, or I can say my nature, mind state and my subconscious that decide where I should be. I think it is perfectly logical, for one to have a state of a mind while losing the other, but not completely, it i...

“How is my new hair style?” She asked me, turning her head left and right in slightly slow motion to let me have a good look at it. Very short hair, like boy cut, but she has got long fringe that she brushed to one side of her forehead. “Hmmm, that is quite short, right.” I answered. It didn’t sound like answer at all, more like a question, but the question itself sounded like a detour and finally it back to me again. “Oh, I have forgotten. You like girl with long hair.” She remembered it as a matter of fact. Like something perfectly ordinary that came into her mind as she was suggesting it. I never said anything. The noise of passing crowd filtered into our conversation space. The street of China Town was packed with awful lots of people, where do all these people come from? It is Tuesday; don’t they need to work or something? And the traffic noise continued buzzing along the busy three lane street way, never a second there was silent. “Anyway, I like my hairstyle now. It makes me loo...

“I appreciated you are here. But there are a lot of things I don’t know what to do.” She paused while looking out at the evening ocean. The sun set to the west, evening light shone at the coconut trees and rocks and the hawker stalls, casting shadow upon us. “I’m okay with it. Just don’t worry about anything.” I said, looking at her face while she still had her eyes fixed to the distant horizon then she smiled at me. She picked up a stick from sand just beside the log we were sitting on, whacked it a few times before started to draw something onto the white sand, my name in capital letters. At my turn, I drew her initial just beside my name. She burst into cry. I held her in my arms when she cried. For how long of a time, I wasn’t too sure, my shirt was half drenched with her tears and I could feel her warm breaths rushed to my chest and down to my belly, that it sometimes exchanged with the cooling sea breeze. Sun set upon us, yet nothing turned out our way. Life just goes on with lot...

I never believed in Feng Shui, I have told myself before, but sometimes you just need to compromise and think; could it be coincident or really, the fault of bad Feng Shui. An acquaintance of mine walked into my rented house one time, I remember he was getting something from me which I have forgotten what it was. As I sent him off, we were at the entrance to my house then, he pointed to the ceiling where there was a piece of rotten from water leakage three-ply wood. Water leaks when the rain gets heavy, I explained to his gesture. What is on top? He asked me. Attached bathroom for master bedroom, I replied him. He suggested me to move out from the house as soon as possible, the Feng Shui of the house is not good; indeed it is quite bad, according to him. The last time I met this guy was one and a half year ago, I have even forgotten about this guy until I recalled him recently. Things just connect each other. I’m not superstitious, but just analyzing. My health has not been really good...

I fear of my own birthday. I hope that particular day will disappear once and for all, or if not, it should have fallen to the last day of February – the twenty ninth day, and then it will only appear in the leap year. If it only happens in leap years, then my birthday will not be happening for three quarters of my life, or more, so I will have fewer things to worry about, like a warehouse sales giving unbelievable discount. That is very weird of you, a friend commented at me after I told him about the story of purposeful made to forget birthday . I never elaborated too much to him, because I didn’t understand it too much myself either. I realized that you have to be simple minded person to take it as an ordinary thing and accept it like it always happens to our everyday life, like you don’t know about one thing so you just accept it as it is. I just hate the day, or merely I just afraid of it. It is not I don’t want to grow up or I don’t want to get old. It’s like a black hole and it ...

I started to pick up interest of running on treadmill. I used to exercise myself on air walker though. It is a totally different workout compares to air walker, it gets you all sweating, and it seems like you can burn a lot of calories by running on it. As she joked, it is like fat dripping down your cheek and body, and it feels good to think like that. In a way, it could be just a consolation. The girl beside me was doing some difficult moves on the treadmill: slow down paces, catch up with it then fists out like a boxer, ran sideway with body facing left and then changed to right, backward stepping, and even some moves that resembled dancing with hands stretch out in grace. Not a strange sight, yet it was rare and honestly good for eyes. She did it like it was the most natural thing to do in the world. Not much people in the gym though. Along the row of treadmill, there was only me and this treadmill dance girl. Somehow the whole scene reminded me of her, who might be at same time ru...