Stay here with me

Dear Jin, I don't know if these words would get to you, but if you are reading this, i must have already long gone. I told you before i want to have a life with you together in the city. While you study in the best university in the country, i would work in a convenient store, or as waitress in a restaurant. We would live together. I would learn to cook your favorite dishes that i so suck at. When you work hard in busy schedules, i would wait for you to come home no matter how late it would be. Sorry that i did what i did to you. Sorry that i have betrayed you. I broke your heart. Nothing i could say to explain to you how much i wanted us to live a life together, till we are getting older and older until the end of time, i still do, always do. But i was not able to go with you. I knew i had to leave soon. So soon, so much sooner. Deep down i really don't want you to find this letter. I don't want to break your heart for the second time. I don't know why i'm writin...

By the sidewalk we sat together side by side, smoking Marlboro Ice. Not in the bar, not in a cafe and not at the Starbucks that were just not too far beside us where we sat. In front of us were supposed to be a water splashing fountain that had been switched off at that hour. Not many pedestrian but just cars drove passed us rushing to go somewhere. Lights are switching off one by one. I went to x-ray again the other day, she said, while looking at the dried fountain, then she continued, The image shows it's getting bigger. It's that why there is a cut mark on your wrist? I ventured. It could be benign i said. There is constant pain in me. She replied, her palm pressed against her lower stomach. A cut could be a distraction. Can i take a closer look at the mark on your wrist? i asked. What does it matter? She dismissed my request. Away, her hand holding the cigarette. Out of sight. No. I'm just thinking. Everyone has the tendency to end their own life. Some peop...

2011 was full, yet empty. Things has come and gone. Business rising, business fell. Restaurant open and bankrupt. There are baby born and people died. Relationship was formed and deteriorated. Only sun rise and set without fail. Time is a relentless freight train gliding on track without friction, it won't slow down but only accelerate. 2012 has exhausted life it's life span. The rest of the year is like a breeze. The year is entering q2012

That crimson red pupils is strange that i have never seen, Long silver hair shines like cleaver's edge, Smooth silky skins illuminates in moonlight, Hint of fangs peek from lips, like children crave for sweets, You are a rare beauty from outer world, You are strong that makes me feels like wind and dust, You are hard to die but i die protecting you, Such a dominating pride you have, yet a warm heart i knew, Some times you are so scary, but eventually you are only just a girl i love.

Even though sun was very bright in that morning, it felt incredibly warm. It might be caused by the sea breeze. Or it might be caused by the silence. I had been sitting on the white sand for quite a while now, staring into the ocean. Occasionally, there were sail boats appeared at far edge of blue. I spaced out a few times and the sail boats were still there. From where i was sitting, she used to be just a few inches away. She will always be at the distance, where, if i stretch out my hand over, i could touch her. I always wondered what she was thinking at the moment like this, sitting beside me, staring at the ocean together. Did i bore you? I asked her once. It was one of those day when we were still teenagers. No, why would i be bored by you? She answered me quickly, shaking her head. Strains of her short hair covered part of her face because of wind, but i knew she was smiling when she answered. For an instant at that moment, i thought i could smell the scent of shampoo. It...

Odd is odd because one acts not conforming to widely acceptance social behavior. What is being widely acceptance? Peoples perspective is only bounded by their limited knowledge and experience therefore it is narrow. Thus odd is not so odd after all

Jumping pass the lake

The security guard shot her a look as she tried to force open the electrically locked glass door, half standing up the guard motioned the lady to use her access card, two fingers drawing an invisible box shape. As if that was the first day she started living in that apartment, she suddenly realized she has to flash the access card to the small black device at the wall to open the glass door. So she rummaged through her belonging in her small handbag - a Louis Vuitton hand bag, a common design with it's distinguishable two alphabets. It took her almost a minute to look for the card, security was watching her all this time, surprise look on his face, he was trying to tell the lady something but she was clumsily busy. She was in a tight blue mini dress showing off all her nice lines, 5 feet 7 after high heels, blonde hair with gentle waves serving as a decorative curtain to her bare back down to waist. In this time of the night, lots of flashy and expensive cars drove pass the drive w...

Finger raised, my friend pointed to a spot far behind me, near to a small no-man island. "Let's dock there." She said lazily, puffing a smoke after that, her eyes squinted a little bit in the millions of blinding sparks reflected from the sea water under the tropical sun shine. For a while, i searched in the blue horizon over my shoulder, just to make sure i got the right direction, then i turned the tiller to make an u-turn towards the direction. Then there was silence, while in between, she puffed a few smokes, seems to enjoy cutting through the warm breeze. Her hair was still wet from last dive a few minutes ago, her dark grey wet suit shine a little under the sun, still showing hints of drench. Only noise of the motor propeller could be heard and the artificial waves that were left behind by our small boat, and the wind we ran into. "You know, i think you are very weird..", my friend started, after a few minutes of silence, continued our conversation topic b...

No lights on, the candle has exhausted, so as my soul. Looking at the flashing tv screen, the subtitles came on in succession, no pictures or words registered to me.The white walls flicked following the tv screen, sound has transformed itself into incomprehensible noise before reaching hearing senses. Nothing matter anymore. So just let the layer of time overlap on each other, burying the inner sorrow deep down. Layers over layers, knot tied onto another dead knot, to the point of no return. Someone flip on the light, or throw me a thunderstorm. Till then the only thing i could do is sitting there for another half century of solitude.

Those fond memories we have, i shared. Those moments we cherished, i deeply felt. Those that you told me, i remember in vivid. Now that you're gone, vanished into the thin air of a crumpling world, all that i can do is to sit here and wait for the World ends, all by myself, in loneliness and quietness.

Full of structural nonsense, he can't produce a thing even he tried damn hard at it. Break free. Leave everything behind then everything will be fine.

People said i like to dream, but i think i enjoy contemplating on sadness.

As i looked down from the 18th floor balcony, i saw another self climbing up the handrail and jumped out from the building, fell all the way down to the ground. Body contacted solid ground that we call the Earth, in split second. I watched myself died almost instantly. Stop dead. Not blood could be seen, i was just lying there lifeless.

Sky started snowing, marked the returning of Swiss Clone. The place remains empty covering with thick snow that looks unreal in this made-up reality. Snow keep falling, swiss clone is nowhere to be seen and then, where is my physical self?

As we parted and each walked into jungle of crowd, i fell into my day's low. I didn't look back, i guessed she didn't too. I don't like her as a woman but only as a friend. How could i be so sad at the moment? I think i just need a company for the incoming dusk.

Heard this on radio, supposed to be funny if listen. Imagine the conversation with Malaysian Slang. Speaker1: Sigh, why my bank account always empty ar?! Now it's only tenth of the month! Speaker2: Dude, you know what is personal budgeting or not?? Speaker1: Is it something to do with the budgeting from the government parliment ar?? Speaker2: Nolah! with personal budgeting you can cut a lot of useless expenses. After that, you can even buy house, or condo and car and you still have money to last until end of the month! Speaker1: Ohh, like that ar.. so good ar personal budgeting.. Speaker2: Yalah. Speaker1: Eh, do you have 5 ringgit to borrow me ar? Speaker2: Errrrr......... i got no money lah.. Speaker1 & 2: Hahahhahahahahahhahah!!!!

Orange is good. But then it's not good when you have an ulcer in your mouth. It causes pain.

What does that mean? one of my ex-school friend asked. She doesn't talk to me that much, so she directed the question to another of my closer friend. Nothing very important i replied, i just like the sound of it. Fly my car.

I want to stand in the middle of a great vast green land. Arms wide open, waiting for the approaching tornado to take me away.